I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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