I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
