i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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