You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
