i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
