I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't turn off my feet"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think my moral compass just broke
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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