i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
