i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
