There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
