i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
did i just pee glitter
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
