Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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