The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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