Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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