Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
