I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
