the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
