The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
