Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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