i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Randomize
