so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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