More tranny stories later!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
