Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
