Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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