And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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