She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
