Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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