I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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