brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
