Rock
Scissors
Fuck
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
