Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
