I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I love you.
Bad choice
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
