hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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