Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
