Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
