Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
