She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
