How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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