So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
