He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
