He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
