Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
