He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
