Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
