OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
