woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
