I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
