worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
