we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
