Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
