omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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