everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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