she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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